Death in the Family - Close to Home

Last week, the reality of breast cancer’s fatal potential hit home when Shermance learned that her dear aunt, Leona, lost her 14-year fight against breast cancer.  The news caused Shermance significant grief.  Leona was a woman whom she respected, and Shermance remembers her as a sweet woman with a generous heart.  Shermance’s cousin Audra, Leona’s daughter, has been one of Shermance’s most consistent, generous, and compassionate supporters.  So it’s been Shermance’s turn to reach back to her cousin to offer support. In fact, the news of Shermance’s cancer has brought all of her cousins on her dad’s side closer than they’ve been on over a decade, so now they have rallied around Audra for support.

One of Shermance’s favorite gifts is the clutch cross she received from Audra to hold during chemo. 

In addition to the grief, it made Shermance question her own mortality.  Even though statistics are overwhelmingly in Shermance’s favor as a young breast cancer survivor, a death in the family has made her question whether she might be among the less fortunate ones.  It didn’t help that within the last week she had some new scares.  A mole on her leg changed shape and color so she had it biopsied.  Results are still pending.  Plus her ankles swelled up considerably.  When pressed the indentation stayed for several seconds.  The condition, called edema, we learned could be a heart or liver problem.  After further tests, it turned out not to be the case, but Shermance didn’t need another scare.  She also didn’t need the pain caused by the swelling.  She found some relief with compression socks.

Shermance takes some comfort in knowing that she is doing everything she can to attack her cancer for now and to ensure it never comes back.  It’s no guarantee, but she leaves the rest in God’s hands.

Two More Weeks of Chemo

Didn't think I'd say it, but the chemo was 'ordinary' yesterday. It's hard to call sitting in a room full of 30 ailing cancer paitents for 5 hours with a coctail of toxic chemicals streaming through her yeins in any way ordinary.  It's really not something Shermance would have ever wanted to get used to, but this week she went with her mom and there was nothing unusual to report.  She did get to see her doctor on this visit, which she only does about every 4 visits.  Dr. Kocs has the driest sense of humor, and Shermance always does her best to make him laugh.  This time the laugh was on her because just as he went in to feel the size of the lump, Shermance was overcome with a hot flash, so her whole body broke out in sweats...the joy of chemo-onset menopause.  Shermance shared her stories of cancer joy with him, and he feigned interest throughout.  AsShermance puts it, "I'm probably not as unique as I think I am".  I think she probably is. :)  The only of other thing I wanted to note, is She had a new nurse who seemed to be really distracted and Shermance called her out...Oh, and Bonnie didn't get her an Almond Joy from the gift store - score one point for Dale.

While I was in California running a workshop this week Shermance was in charge.  At one point the boys were doing what they weren't supposed to be doing...you know how 9 and 11 yr old boys can be...which made Shermance's blood boil a bit.  She raised her voice at them and pointed her finger at them and emphatically said, "Boys I'm NOT serious".  She meant to say se is serious, but chemo brain maybe got to her or she switched thoughts mid sentence and added an unneeded NOT for emphasis that totally change what she was trying to say.  Instead of getting more mad at that point everyone broke out in laughter.  It actually worked to get the boys to stop what they were doing and everyone was happier. I'm NOT serious! :)

One of Shermance's joys in life as a morning person is waking people up.  Since she gets up at the crack of dawn, usually 5 am, she expects others to get up at least at a reasonable hour.  On Friday before Chemo she thought it would be reasonable if her Aunt Jimmie Anne would be awake at least by 8 am...actually she knew better.  So when she called her for Facetime at 8am, JAV not only was not awake, but he had been sound asleep, in the dark and could hardly find her phone to find out the emergency.  No emergency, just Shermance's bubbly morning face looking for someone to share her coffee time with since I had already gone to work.

Doc stories from work this week:
- An overly organic -patient was adament about Xrays causing cancer so requested not to have any, especially near his brain, the largest organ (after the skin).  So Shermance covered head with the lead vest - so he was a lead head.  Unfortunately he wouldn't let Shermance take a picture
- A dear old lady came into Shermance's chair, and Shermance just assumed she was hard of hearing.  So after speaking to her very loudly for a while, the lady said "Honey, I can hear you fine." So Shermance quieted, but Doc came in and did the same thing. Shermance wrote a note on a napkin to let doc know she could hear fine.  When the lady left, she consoled Shermance about her loud speaking, "Oh Honey, sorry about your problem!"

This was headbling from a patient a few weeks back.  Not sure how long ago but it is one of my favorite pics.

More head bling from a patient!

The t-shirts she ordered were in!

Close-up of Taxol 10, wearing her new pink Cameo - a gift from a jeweler she met the weekend prior

Taxol #10

The two of us at Shermance's Dental Hygiene office

So what color is the new hair that's growing in?

A Walk in our Backyard

Last Sunday, a wonderfully cool Fall day, we took a walk in the 220-acre greenbelt directly behind our house. The old-growth oaks reside in a nature-preserve that is city-owned park land that is unbuildable as a watershed.  The yellow wild flowers were in full bloom - Bew-tee-full! Shermance and I both enjoyed the brisk hour-long walk, but our 10-month-old Golden Retriever, Carmel, enjoyed the walk most of all. 

We all needed the exercise. When we returned home, Carmel collapsed on the floor in exhaustion. And Shermace snuggled in for a long nap - a needed rest and a habit in weekend days afterTaxol. 

13 Chemos Down 3 to Go...After Today

Last week at chemo, our main oncology nurse, Jolie, told Shermance some horrible news - news that no woman wants to hear "No one loses weight on Taxol.In factmost women gain weight" Now that Shermance is 9 weeks into Taxol, she's resigned to the fact that Jolie is right because as she was quick to point out today, she has 'Taxol ass'.  It made everyone laugh hysterically.  Andrea, the oncology nurse with the biggest smile, told Shermance to shut-up because she looks GREAT.  In fact, Shermance works hard at looking great. 

Each week, she loves to show off her head-bling and matching outfits.  She's one of the few brave women who shows up without a wig and really flaunts the bald (but regrowing) look. In fact, Shermance was laughing with one of the volunteers, Kay, about a line from Steel Magnolias, "The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize." Kay went on to say that she needed to go shopping with Shermance because she was able to match everything so well...Uugh, don't encourage her.  After such a comment Shermance feels pressured to do more shopping, which she did again this afternoon for a "fall wardrobe".  Really?  What's wrong with the clothes she wore last fall?  She has a walk-in closet bigger than my bedroom growing up as a kid, and she needs more? Rediculous!  Retail therapy is alive and well. In fact, to be hip, she even had to buy two of the t-shirts the nurses wear at the clinic.  Can't wait for this cancer thing to be over.

Some other fun side effects of the cancer are cancer gas which is similar to the wafting poots from old dogs who lose care and control and pass gas freely - often, loud, and not especially fragrant.  :)  Good times.  This is a topic she also talks about more freely than the average person because she works in a confined space with her fingers in patient's mouths so walking away for a discrete release isn't always an option.  Sounds a bit funny, and it is :), but also a bit disturbing.  GasX and Beeno will be her new friends (and her patients and we will be quite thankful).

Another fun side effect of the steroids she given during treatment is the anxiety and nervousness that makes it so she can't sleep at night and makes her a bit extra directive and perhaps even a bit irritable.  We know to mind our P's and Q's on taxol days and everyone works to make sure Shermance is happy.  Today that included making Brie Cheese Breakfast Tacos with Bonnes Herb in the morning and a Chicken Parm dinner. Plus it meant a trip to the massage therapist and the 'fall wardrobe' trip I mentioned earlier.   

Tonight Shermance will try a Xanex with her sleep meds because she was headed down a path of dependence by taking too large of a dose with two sleeping pills each night last week.  She needs to calm down and let her body rest.  The days immediately following treatement are the worst and although she would fall asleep, she'dwake up at 3am and couldn't get back to sleep.       

A few other side-effects I'll care to mention include dehydration and chemo fog.  She'll need to drink more electrolytes for the dehydration.  As forthe chemo fog or chemo brain, there are no signs.  She's as sharp as ever and never searches for words.  In fact, today as we were discussing with Jolie that Shermance might be Golem from Lord of the Rings for Halloween, Jolie mentioned a friend wh was bald due to treatment for two yeas and one year went as a Hari Krishna and the next year as the bald guy from The Adam's Family.  Jolie and I couldn't think of the name, but Shermance piped in quickly - Uncle Fester.  She's still got it.  Random knowledge, but she can recall it quickly. 

Fortunately she also still has no neuropathy.  She was freezing today in the chemo room with the ice on her fingers, but she covered her head and slept through the 2 hours of that drug.  In all we were at the doctor's office almost 5 hours - a bit longer than expected so I was late for a conference call I was supposed to host to prep for a workshop in CA next week. 

Our signature photo each week.

Three to go! Close up of the color coordination.

Another picture?  Really Dale?

Blood work looks good for this stage in chemo

OK, let me tell you a story...about Taxol Ass.

Oh, this is going to hurt

Jolie loves it when I take her pic.

With Kay the Volunteer (who is also a patient).

With her Cancer Hero

The nurse's assistant with the highly new coveted t-shirt Shermance hadto have.

Showing off her many meds

Ghost Shermance...her position for about 2 hrs during the time her meds put her to sleep

13th Anniversary

Wednesday was our 13^th Anniversary.  In her lunch I packed a  special pesto pasta, a dark chocolate snack mix with craisins, and a hand-made card that included words from a song she sings to the boys as they go to sleep.  It’s from a kid’s book with which many of you are familiar.  I changed 'BABY' to 'SWEETHEART'.

I love u forever,

I like you for always,

As long as I'm living,

My SWEETHEART you’ll be!

Her flowers were from A Matter of Taste flower shop, located just down the road from Shermance’s Trade Wind's dental office in Georgetown.  The owner had just received in 2-toned, HUGE roses that faded from a dark yellow to a rich red - almost like the colors of fire.  The arrangement was beautiful and Shermance kept it in her office through the week. 

We topped off the day with a home-grilled ribeye dinner (with her favorite, Béarnaise sauce), loaded backed potatoes, and fresh garlic green beans  - YUM.

I love you, Sweetheart!

Return from Hygienist Conference

Shermance returned from her mega-weekend at the Texas Dental Hygienist Association (TDHA) convention with load of goodies and lots of great stories. She overdid it at the vendor corral – with necklaces and all things with bling.  She is dangerous there!

Among the notable stories was one while she was shopping in the vendor corral.  One of the vendors, noticing Shermance’s short spiked hair engaged in a conversation about her cancer.  She was so touched by Shermance’s story that she gave her some earrings with the cancer ribbon on them.  It brought tears to Shermance’s eyes just how generous people have been for her throughout this struggle.  There have been highs and lows throughout, but the wonderful people have lifted her up throughout.

Another touching story was from the silent auction to raise money for the association.  Shermance hadn’t given much thought to what she might donate, until it dawned on her that she had a hand-made necklace from a dear woman at church.  The necklace was pink with a breast cancer theme and a stone cross that looked like white marble.  Shermance thought it might bring in $20-$30 for the organization, and every bit counts.  At the auction, bids jumped quickly and a bidding war ensued.  There was lots of excitement for the necklace and for support of Shermance.  It climbed over $100 and kept going.  It surpassed $200.  As the dollar amounts increased, so did Shermance’s astonishment at the generosity and love in the room.  It kept going above $300 and finally settled at a whopping $350.  The dear woman who bought the necklace was beaming to have won it and proudly took a picture with Shermance.  As Shermance walked up to deliver the necklace she receive a standing ovation from the packed room.  It’s one of the moments in life she’ll never forget.  Hugs and love filled theroom.

Although it was an amazing weekend, Shermance pushed herself too much.  She had grown used to going to sleep by 9:30 and getting lots of rest to help her recover from her chemo.  Over the weekend she stayed up past 11:30 as she enjoyed the dinner and festivities with her girls.  They had a pajama party and made Smore’s,  They had hula hoop contests and shared stories…And they laughed.  It was great medicine for Shermance after long days of discussing legislation and next steps for the committee she leads.  She was in heaven and didn’t realize how sapped she was for energy.  The last night made it even worse when the alarm sounded-off at 2:30 in the morning at the San Marcos Embassy Suites hotel.

Shermance had taken 2 sleeping pills to get her through the night (because the chemo makes her anxioux) so she was extra groggy when her roommate tried to get her up.  She tried 3 times to sleep through the alarm by pushing her earplugs in further and snuggling in, but after some insistence she got up.  The hotel lobby said not to worry, but as the fire trucks showed up she knew she needed to get out.  Once outside they didn’t see smoke but it smelled sort of like natural gas.  They never told her what happened, but she didn’t get back to bed till after 4 am.  Uugh.  So much for slepp.

So when she got home on Sunday she crashed while the rest of our family and her parents had a marathon MIB movie session.  Mimi and Boppa bought MIB #1 and #2 so the kids could follow the saga before watching #3.  We stopped after 2 because Logan had some homework.  It took Shermance napping much of the day Sunday and sleeping early through the week to catch-up on her sleep

On Monday, Shermance had her perfomance review at the end of the work day.  She was  a bit aprehensive about it because of her lost days, but the owners of the business were completely understanding and have been very willing to work with her through the treatment.  In addition, they were gushing about how much positive energy she has brought into their practice, and appreciate the new ideas she's brought in.  They were amazed at her depth of knowledge and skills after just one year out of school.  Shermance finally felt an integral part of the Trade Wind Dental family, as opposed to just the new kid.

Fire truck at 2:30 am

During the pajama party...

During the fire alarm...a bit less energy :)

Want S'more?

Big hug!

A talking frog?

Chili cheese dog - YUM!