Supplemental postings

Good morning, friends and family!  Wanted to catch everyone up on my going’s on J

I have felt absolutely fantastic and have thoroughly  utilized my recovery time to the fullest: napping, easy walks with Carmel, catching up with long-time friends.  Dale has been traveling and with the very generous food donations from everyone, the boys and I have been spoiled rotten!  Thank you to my wonderful friends and neighbors!!!!

I went to the plastic surgeon this week with the intentions of not getting any reconstruction done.  Honestly, I was just scared.  I was finished with putting myself through any more pain.  But he was very sincere and made us feel very good.  He would recommend doing something because right now, besides having Fraken-boobs, I don’t have a flat chest, I have decided concavities where they removed all the boob goodness.  So he said it would be very simple just to fill it with an implant.  75% chance that I would not even need the additional surgery of expanders.  That is good news.  We scheduled the surgery January 7^th with a full month recovery time from work.  The doctor felt this was best since we wanted a full recovery. 

I am devoting myself to systemic cleaning as well, wanting to get over all the medical treatments I have been subjecting myself to.  I have found a really good chiropractor who wants to help me align my central nervous system, since that is the core that runs all the other systems.  I am taking many supplements and have even gone to a naturopath doctor and had a bioscan completed to see where to focus these supplements.   I’m drinking many green teas and breathing deeply to get my body as much oxygen as I can.  Oh, and monitoring my pH, as we know cancer thrives in an acidic environment.  In addition, because it was recommended by a dear friend as well as makes sense, I’m doing dry skin brushing to activate my lymphatic system. 

That’s all for now; perhaps you’ll get a better update from a different perspective from my cancer hero.  Take it away, Dale!

Next Steps and THANKS

Today Shermance visited her oncologist for the first time in well over a month to align on the need for radiation.  He gave her the OK to proceed without radiation...WAHOO!  We've heard that radiation can cause more problems than it solves, so we are very glad to get that news. For many it is absolutely necessary, but in Shermance's case the added benefits from radiation are small.

Shermance will need to wait 6 weeks to begin reconstruction - a process that may take a few months.  Dr. Mosier realizes that many doctors are willing to insert expanders at the time of the mastectomy, but he wants the best results so he waits until the body heals before proceeding to that next step.  We've heard horror stories of complications by moving too quickly, so we'll take the slower route.  It also means she won't need drains again - which sealed the deal for Shermance when she heard that.

Thank you very much to the neighbor ladies for coordinating dinners this week.  It is so amazingly helpful while I am travelling for work and Shermance is regaining mobility.  She tells me the food has been delicious!  YOU ROCK!  Also, to the wonderful women who tried to set-up a care calendar for us previously (three times)- we are so thankful for your offers to help.  We really don't like to ask for help, and we appreciate you so much!  YOU ROCK, TOO!

Live Like You Were Dying

Leading up to the double mastectomy last week, more than ever Shermance was struggling with fears about her mortality.  What if she didn't make it through the surgery?  What if she were creating her last memories?  What would she be remembered for?  How would the kids cope without a mother?  Had she lived a full life?  Was she ready to be gone?  So many other questions filled her mind about the timing, her readiness, and many more questions she kept inside.  That weekend, she was more anxious than usual and a bit on edge.  Who could blame her?  I've never been so close to what I thought could be the end, so I never faced those questions myself.  For her, those thoughts were often tear-filled, but oddly enough at the same time she was at peace.

At the time I didn't feel it was appropriate to share her thoughts in this blog, but now that she is recovering well (like a champ), it seems OK. Such thoughts are core to being human.  We have it in common: one day will be our last and we'll be faced with similar questions. Her mind was put at ease because she had no regrets.  She was good with God.  If this was her time, she was ready to accept her fate. She was ready. WOW!  What amazing strength! I don't think I could face my own possible death with nearly such a equanimity. Yet she didn't want to fade away...she wanted our family to have memories of the 'last days'.

The night before heading to the hospital we shared a family tradition dating back to my childhood. On the first Sunday of Advent, I'd read the Christmas story from the Bible, followed by setting-up antique Hummel Nativity figures on the mantle.  We've since passed down that tradition to our boys. For the second year our 9-year old son, Parker, read the story from a Beginner's Bible and we had my mom on the phone from the Chicago area.  My brother, his wife and their two sweet daughters also joined us at our house. Although we were a week early for advent, it seemed right since it normally falls on the weekend after Thanksgiving and moreso to add another family memory before surgery. Shermance enjoyed showing my brother's girls our Christmas decorations, especially seeing their interest in the multi-colored, fiber-optic lit ceramic village and similar snowman. It was chaotic, with the little girls exploring more of the decorations especially the heat-driven Christmas candle carousel.  Parker kept reading amidst the comotion. Shermance was smiling - radiating from inside out.  She enjoyed sharing that moment.  She watched all that was going on in particular wonder.  After setting up our own Nativity scene we enjoyed the most kid-anticipated tradition - eggnog and a variety of traditional homemade cookies shipped from my mom. Yum!

Before putting the kids down for bed, Shermance recorded an iPhone video of or night-time ritual.    Our family routine includes singing a good night song (or songs), saying a rote prayer, and each meditating in silent prayer.  This night the song was more boisterous than ever while we were recording. It's not unusual that the 4 of us are in different keys, doing a poor job of harmonizing, or competing for the loudest rendition, but this time we laughed...and laughed.  It was joy-filled.  It was a gift. Even without technology that memory will forever remain fresh.  It's part of having a family.  It's a sharing that cannot be described in words alone...it's a forever bond that will keep us together whether near or far, whether well or sick, and whether old or young.  It's family.  It's our family...odd, fun, happy!  That's how we hope it will always be. 

Now that Shermance is on the mend, she doesn't ever want to face the biggest fear of a cancer survivor - recurrence.  To reduce her risks she will live a healthy lifestyle - low stress, happy, eating good foods, and sharing time with friends and family.  To also help her meet those goals, she's reading a book she highly recommends, and one she wants to share with others about how to live to avoid cancer called The Cancer Killers.  Add that to my list of must-read books!  For women, 1 in 8 sometime in their life will hear the words that struck fear in Shermance 7 months ago, "you have breast cancer".  Help yourself.  Reduce your risks, but also live like you were dying...Have no regrets!  It's your life!

Note to self: never mention a vulture flying overhead when your significant other is questioning her mortality - it doesn't go over well.  I learned the hard way.  :)

Fast Recovery

Shermance continues to recover quickly after the double mastectomy surgery this past Monday.  She looks great and has a glow about her that she hasn’t had since before she was diagnosed with cancer!  She is bubbly and full of energy!

On Friday, we were glad that the drains produced less than 30 mL for the 2^nd day in a row so Shermance was able to have her drains removed prior to the weekend – WAHOO! When visiting with Dr. Bombach after removal, he let us know that there was still a small tumor in the breast tissue, but it had reduced from of 25mm to 6mm in the largest dimension. 

The good news is the tumor responded favorably to the chemo as the songrams suggested.  Even better, the lymph nodes that were removed showed absolutely no signs of cancer.  At this point the doctor was not willing to call Shermance CANCER FREE! But she has progressed quickly and as far as he knows there is no more cancer in her body.  She’ll need to take precautions for the rest of her life to avoid recurrence.  The Dr. also confirmed that he sees little benefit from radiation in her case, and described Shermance as an ideal candidate for early reconstruction.  Shermance will call her plastic surgeon Monday to book the first  available appointment to have expanders surgically installed – the first step in her reconstruction. 

After the appointment, while leaving the clinic, Shermance didn’t know what to do with her hands.  I noticed that she was holding them tight against her body as had become habit during the week with drains so they wouldn’t bounce around.  I told her she could put them down to her sides if it was more comfortable.  Shen she did, they hung lifeless beside her body.  It’s as if she forgot how to coordinate her arms with her legs. When I pointed it out she exaggerated the swing and bobbed her head in a motion not too unlike Jar Jar Binks – an alien character from Star Wars I and II.  I tried to mimic it and we both burst out in laughter.  We couldn’t move because each step we took cause the other to laugh.  We paused to think it’s probably unusual for people to leave a medical facility in such great spirits  and laughing like school children. 

That evening we had what used to be our usual Friday family movie night.  Having already watched the first of Tim Allen’s, The Santa Clause movies we opted to watch the second in the series.  After watching we asked Parker, our 9-year old, for his ideas for his Santa Clause list.  Logan had given his weeks ago, but Parker retorted that we have an odd family because it wasn’t even December and we already had watched two classic Christmas movies and expected him to have completed his list for Santa.  We agreed that we were pushing a bit hard since we wanted to get as much done as possible before the surgery and now that Shermance is recovering well, we can slow down a bit. 

Saturday we headed to Sam’s Club to pick-up the latest Glenn Beck book and to have it personally signed during his pass through Austin on his 3-day, 12 city tour. Shermance is a huge fan of his and respects him immensely.  While in line we read the hand-out from his crew that stated what to expect.  The biggies were “no personalized copies” so he was just doing his signature on the title page, the book must be set to that page, and pictures were only allowed from a certain area.  When it was her turn, she got really close to the desk where he was seated and before I knew it, he stood up and gave her a huge hug! What a shocker! I captured the whole thing on her iPhone. After the quick interchange, we were rustled out the other side and I asked Shermance what she said to get the hug when he wasn’t really interacting with anyone.  She played the cancer card and offered to help him out if he needed a photo op to show his care for cancer survivors.  While he declined the photo op, he said he wanted to giver her a hug and wish her well on her journey.  Shermance was glowing the rest of the morning.  It made for the start of a great day together: shopping and lunch together, our favorite Nikki's pizza with lots of laughing and good times.  Great to have my wife back! 

Sunday started great. At church, Shermance surprised many of her friends by being there so soon after surgery.  The sermon was appropriate for the first Sunday of advent - a focus on giving as the key to happiness.  Pastor David has a knack for weaving in a great story to the verse - this time from Proverbs).  After an afternoon of honey-do's I had to rush off to the airport headed to Silicon Valley about the time Sherm's parents came to cook dinner.  We are very fortunate that our wonderful neighbors offered up dinners this week while I'm travelling on business. 

As for Monday, she will call our Oncologist and her plastic surgeon to schedule her next surgery for expander installation as soon as possible.  Maybe even this week if he can work her in. 

 *****Monday morning update:  plastic surgeon wants to wait up to 6 weeks to start any reconstructions.  He wants her to heal fully, make sure there is no infection, and then start the next procedure.  It will be easier on her body and will negate the need for the dreaded drains!!!

Note tonight from Shermance: When all was quiet, I snuck into the bathroom to clean up for bed and to take the dressings off the drain sites.  All by myself.  It was hard to get that shirt off.  Off came the left dressing and squirt came the blood.  I was rather freaked out.  What to do???  It was dripping!  Should I get Logan to help me?  Go to the hospital?  Call Dina??  I just stood there.  Drip.  Drip.  I looked for a shirt to put on, but knew I would leak all over the bed...

So I got our dressings left over from the drains and taped myself up.  Duh.  Miss you.  Sucky time for you to be gone.  I'm a whiny baby.  Miss you.. 

Update from Dale: I called home when I arrived in California and she was able to recover...I miss her too.

Great News!!!

 So quick update since I’m sure Dale will give a much more detailed synopsis:  Drains are out!  Hurt like a B***ch, but they are out!  The chemo worked and while both cancer tumors were not completely eradicated, they shrunk drastically in size, from 25 mm, I think, to 6 mm.  Something like that.  Then all the breast tissue that contained the tumors was completely removed and there was no signs of cancer in the axilla lymph nodes that were removed.  YEAH!  So the surgeon does not recommend radiation, in fact he emphatically is resistant to radiation, saying it will do more harm than good.  In addition, he says it will greatly increase the risk of lymphedema in the right arm!  Then he went on to say that I am a candidate for early reconstruction and as soon as the plastic surgeon can fit me in, he says go!  So even next week, depending entirely on the plastic surgeon’s availability.   So we will see!  But I am floating on air and I wanted to share it with everyone ASAP!  LOVE YOU ALL!!!  I was able to get this far with all the incredible support and love from family, friends, and even some almost strangers.  And God.  He has walked through every step in my heart.  This has been such an amazing journey so far…  Cannot wait to see what comes next!

Short and sweet :-)

I feel great today!  Dale stayed around long enough to take my drain measurements then hightailed it out of here.  I guess even as cute as I am, bald and boobless though I may be (did I mention the exoticness of the boob scar incisions?  Quite the thing.) so even as cute as my bossing may be,even my beloved cancer hero can even get tired of it...  So with mom on the computer i get to piddle around the house.  Ok, not so short and sweet.  Let me get to the point:  have appointment today to get the drains taken out at 3:00 today; dale will meet me there; called the plastic surgeon for a heads up on how I am doing and the potential of moving up reconstruction pending on the pathology reports I should get today. Picked out a medical alert bracelet for my right arm since I had all the nodes removed.  The one I wanted was over $2000 and Dale said no.  So the next best one is $29; but I will still shop for more bling.  Ahhh, it is good to be back!  LOL!

Talk to you all soon!

Sherm

Better than Expected

Shermance is looking fantastic today.  Her old-person shuffle has progressed into regular, though slow, walking and she has a smile on her face like we haven't seen in a while.  Sure she is still in a great deal of pain, and she generally is moving much slower than her usual bustle, but her mind is fully alert and she has her internal sparkle back in her eyes.  The other way I can tell she is back to herself is in the shear joy with which she doles out requests for me to cater to her every need, want, and whim :).  She takes such joy in her bossiness.  For those who know her that is no surprise.

This morning we checked her fluid drains (inserted inside both sides of the surgery sites) and both were under the 30mL limit for their removal.  Provided they are less than 30mL tomorrow, she can have them surgically removed.  We were told they were required from 7 to 10 days so having them out in 5 would be a wonderful blessing.  The doc wants them out as soon as possible to avoid further risk of infection.  Shermance wants them out because they pull on her skin and its generally no fun having the two balloons attached to the front of her Ace bandage.  Say a prayer for low drainage tomorrow.

We are very happy for her faster-than-expected recovery and now we are anxiously anticipating conclusive news from the doctor on the biopsy.  We are hoping with all hope to hear the words CANCER FREE!  Plus, as mentioned before, we want to hear that proceeding without radiation is adviseable so we can move ahead with plans for early reconstruction.  That would be the best Christmas present ever!

To help along the recovery, Shermance is religiously performing her daily exercises and trying to stay active to keep her blood flowing.  She's recovered regularity after much trouble yesterday - no shittin' :).  It's a not-so wonderful side effect of anesthesia and the opiate-based pain meds.  The plumbing is now fixed. :)

Speaking of plumbing, today is the day Shermance decided we MUST get reverse osmosis installed under our kitchen sink.  A work friend's wife, a doctorate-degreed chemist, convinced Shermance and a few others at our house party a week ago that water filtration was not enough for clean water.  We bought the system the next day.  I turned away the first technician who wanted to charge as much as the unit to install the filter.  We expect we can save up to $200 by having a handyman do the install.

We are hoping to get the house back to some normalcy next week (though I will be travelling for work).  Parker has been sick with some major stomach pain.  We think it may be somewhat linked to the stress in the house leading up to the surgery.  His teacher called yesterday to ask if she can bring over a meal or offer any additional support to our family - how wonderful.  We simply asked that she keep an eye on his behavior and report anything unusual.  She also offered to have him talk to the school counselor, which we agreed is a good idea so he can share what's on his mind without pressure to respond in a way that he thinks we expect. 

Logan seems to be handling the surgery in stride.  He is almost 12 years old and instead of acting out, he has withdrawn a bit more into reading, but that is nothing new.  His major change was his bike being stollen from the school after we left it overnight.  The young theif was caught on security cameras, but the police have not yet recovered the bike. We've already replaced it with a bike from craigslist - though it's a bit old and needs servicing. 

I extended my Personal Time Off from work today by doing some work from home and continuing to cater to Shermance.  Her mom is here and she's been a fantastic help - providing meals, cleaning, and also helping hoowever Shermance needs.  This morning Shermance, Dina, and Bonnie sorted through a huge lot of eBay baby clothes that Shermance bought for the price of 2 baby outfits.  While I was on my conference call I overheard them laughing and admiring the 87 pieces that arrived yesterday.

That's all for now.  Shermance is accepting a few visitors this afternoon, and that is making her so chipper!  Smiles help with healing!

In Full Recovery Mode

All was well this morning

Shermance is in full recovery mode now, which means getting lots of rest, shifting from a liquid diet to gradually more solid food, weaning off the intense pain meds, starting her arm exercises, and keeping her wounds sterile for best healing.  For the next several days she’ll need to get 12 or more hours of solid sleep, so that means keeping the kidos quiet and out of the room.

For our boys, it doesn’t seem fair that our golden retriever, Carmel (Happy 1^st B-day on Mon), gets to sleep on the bed, but they don’t.  She knows something is up and she doesn’t want to leave Shermance out of her sight right now.  It started when we were at the hospital.  Carmel acted out by digging into the already-wrapped presents under the Christmas tree.  A few small items were completely destroyed, but for the most part just the packages were damaged.  Since we’ve returned she hasn’t tried to chew on any gifts, thank goodness.

As for her diet, we maybe tried to push the switch to solid foods too fast, resulting in her not able to keep down her meal.  The pain meds irritate her stomach so we are trying to switch to ibuprofen as long as the pain is not too intense.  It will also make her life a bit more regularJ, and keep her from being so dizzy and disoriented.  The "bad nurse" at the hospital told us that we needed to "act like she just had major sugery".  I guess we want to move forward as quickly as possible.

She is moving very slowly and can’t lift her arms even as high as her shoulders.  It will take some time to get there, so she has exercises 3x a day including a glamour pose and inching her fingers up a wall.

At least twice a day, we open up the dressing and empty the fluid drains that are necessary after such a surgery.  While in there everything gets cleaned with alcohol and checked for proper drainage.  The biggest risk at this point is infection so we are being extremely cautious and careful while dressing the wounds.  She can only be given sponge baths to be extra cautions as well.

The best news today came from Dr. Bombach who informed Shermance that the prelim results show no signs of cancer in either the removed breast tissue or in the lymph nodes.  Those “wet” results will be confirmed tomorrow with full results.  It’s great, promising news!  Our fingers are crossed for no need for radiation.

The support from friends, family, and coworkers continues to lift Shermance’s spirits.  She is looking great and on her way to recovery.  Thank you!  Please keep us in your prayers! 

in full hybernation mode

Surrounded by her comforts: Carmel, phones, iPad, drinks and food

Beautiful flowers from her work posse

Lots more beautiful flowers

Glad we decorated for Christmas before going to the hospital, but should have packed the presents away - out of dog reach.

Successful Double

Thank you!  The support, gifts, and outpouring of messages in all written- and electronic forms offering love, prayers, and encouragement has been amazing.  Shermance did very well.  We are at home now and she is sleeping off the dizziness caused by anethesesia and recovering from the major surgery yesterday.  She was thankful to have her bag of good luck items given by so many people who care.  Examples (not all-inclusive): healing crystals, a clutch cross, a Tae Kwon Do breast cancer pin, medal given by a Tae Kwon Do World Champ, a "Going-to-Boston" button for the national hygienst convention, a butterfly pin, and a breast cancer bracelet.

The 2-hour, tissue-sparing double masectomy included removal of the sub-dermis port used for injecting her chemo meds and as a SURPRISE bonus the removal of all her lymph nodes under her right arm.  We hadn't discussed the lymph-node removal option with the doc prior to surgery.  Her surgeon made the decison during the surgery to remove the lymph nodes in her right arm pit.  The hope is it will prevent Shermance from undergoing radiation so she can begin reconstruction sooner.  Wahoo! In fact, the surgeon explained to us that it will be a fight between him and the radiologist whether radiation is indeed necessary.  Had the lymph nodes remained, we were told the chance of recurrence without radiation was above 20% but with radiation was less than 4%.  Given those statistics we thought 6-weeks of radiation was a forgone conclusion. Now that the lymph nodes are gone, the chance of recurrence should be reduced even further, so we are hopful that the daily dose of radiation won't be needed. We won't know whether we can follow that plan until we get the biopsy results from the lymph nodes (and from the removed breast tissue) on Thursday or Friday. 

The down side of the lymph node removal is potential lymphedema - a blockage of the lymph vessels that drain fluid from tissues throughout the body and allow immune cells to travel where they are needed especially in the right arm.  Whether or not she has the bad side effects, she will need to be extremely vigalent and protective of that arm - no blood pressure in that arm, no cuts, no heavy lifting and no shots or IV.  It's a lifetime of caution needed, but for the peace of mind to reduce recurrence it's worth it.

The common questions which we haven't been able to answer for everyone include, 'How did the procedure go?' and 'How is Shermance doing now?', so I'll try to answer them now.  The procedure was perfectly successful, yet Shermance was under a lot of pain afterwards so she was given extra pain medicine.  Once she was stabailized she was brought up to the 2nd-floor room for post-op care. Multiple oversights (too many to name, but examples include the oxygen tube in her nose that was not hooked-up, missing the post-op leg massager, and losing her pain medicine and forgetting for over an hour) caused us to question her care there, but once we escalated to the evening charge nurse we received excellent care. I was in constant need to adjust, support, move and help Shermance while she was bed ridden through the day and evening.  I was glad to be there for her.  She didn't really expect visitors, but she was glad to have visits from her parents and Julie, her friend who is covering at her work for the month while she is out.  The flowers and get-well balloon brought smiles.

As for how she is doing now, the pain is reduced and she is encouraged to walk around - slowly an cautiously.  She needs to be extremely careful with the drain ports on both sides that collect blood and other fluids from the operation sites.  They will remain in her body until she has sustained reduction in fluid loss for at least 2 days.  It may take up to 10 days before removal.  Other than that, she is alert and has recovered full color in her face and she is smiling, bossy and joking around in her usual style.

Now we are at home and enjoying the smells of homemade chicken and dumplings that her mom is cooking for dinner.  A special thanks to the neighbor ladies who took her out to a new restaurant Saturday night, to Shanon and Nancy who took her to Chuy's for Sunday lunch, to my brother Dan and his family for the super soft robe, to Oma for the cookies and cards, to Mimi for the heaps of food, and to Anjali, a dear friend from our previous 'hood, who brought over huge amounts of Rudy's BBQ, flowers and a sweet card. A care calendar has been started for dinners next week while I am away travelling for work, so we are thankful for all of those who have supported and will continue to support.

Lots of bracelets

Shermance wanted a pic of the finger sensor with her initials on it

Very happy in pre-op before the meds were

The operating techs.  Anesthesiologist wasn't humored by Shermance's "I don't want to die" comment.

Good luck stuff.

In the recovery room

The "good nurses"

                                                                                                                                                                                                              

The drains...pretty gross.  Hope to remove them in a few days.

The full monty...centerfold pic.

Thank you mystery neighbor sign maker!

blogging like a big girl:-)

Blogging all by myself, kind of.  Well, I did need help logging on, but that's it.

I've had a really good week and am starting to feel much more like my old self.  I still have bouts of anxiety, where the boys (Dale included) really irritate me, but I don't know that is related to chemo, tee hee.  

I've had some scares, like my self-diagnosing lower leg melanoma, which was fine, but I also had a biopsy done on my lower eye lid.  Due to my episode with skin cancer years ago on the same eye, I allowed myself to get really concerned, but I got the call today and all is well. 

Funny story though: the boys are like truth magnets so I try very hard to be up front about everything.  The night before I was to go in for the biopsy on my eye I told them about it during night night time.  (Yes, that is still what we call it)  They just looked at me and said, “Seriously, how much more are they going to keep cutting off?”  Which was kind of funny.  I told them that it all didn’t really matter, what was important is that I was here with them, then it all morphed into “mama floating heads “and that was that.

My other issue was the edema, swelling, that is still in my legs.  I wear the compression socks and do make quite a statement with them, but am a little worried since no one really knows what is going on.  I found out by getting a confirmation call from the endocrine specialist that I have an appointment tomorrow, so hopefully we will get some answers.  Maybe it all has something to do with the ginormous nodule that has completely take over the left thyroid, and then the several smaller ones in the right (did I mention we biopsied those as well?  Not Cancer. )

Then I also meet with the surgeon on Monday to go over pre-op information.  Hopefully I will have some info from the endocrine specialist to tell him.  Maybe we can cut everything out and off at the same time.  Oh, and I have had a pain under my right arm for about a week, near where they removed the sentinel node, so no telling what psychosomatic stress I’m putting on myself.  Maybe I should Google it and REALLY freak myself out!

Who knew what fun a blog was!  It feels kind of like a diary!  Or just me whining.  Anyhoo, besides all the bitching, I really do feel good and am very lucky to have so many people who support me and love me.   Since it looks like Dale is rather busy, you might be stuck with me.  I’ll catch you guys up with what I hear tomorrow. 

Night Night 

Update from My Sweet Lady

Today is my first day of no chemo in approx. 24 weeks.   Whew!  I feel so free!  I went into work to clean my co-workers teeth (they’ve been sooooo patient while I’ve been dealing with this!  Shout out to my peeps at Trade Winds Dental, the best dental care team in the world!) then my parents took me out for a special lunch, just the three of us.  Yummy!  Gumbo’s on the Georgetown square.  My favorite tarragon chicken and the best chocolate custard I’ve ever had!  So nice to spend time with them on a no-chemo day!!!!

Halloween was a hoot.  I wanted to boys to remember Halloween, not sick mama, so we first planned a pumpkin carving party Saturday night with our new cul de sac peeps , neighbors, old time peeps  and family.  It was chaos and the finale  was an outside movie with a projector on our garage.  My neighbor and I decided Young Frankenstein would be a hoot for everyone to watch together.  And it was.  For us….  I don’t think anyone else enjoyed it by we laughed and laughed.  Then I got tired and went to bed in the middle of the movie, right after all the kids realized they didn’t get it and went off to play.  Ahhh well.  Such is life with cancer girl J

Halloween night was so much fun!  The boys wanted a Lord of the Rings theme, with Logan as Legolas (my coworker thought I was calling him a leg-less elf and was very confused…), Parker as Gimli the dwarf, then they wanted me to be Gollum…  I told “my precious” children hell no, but did dye my hair blue and dressed as the tooth fairy.  Again the cul de sac peeps had the right idea:  we put all our candy in several huge bowls, lined up chairs, brought out the wine, and sat while all the children came to us.  Did I mention we sent off our own children with the dads while we manned the fort?  I felt it was well done.  Then I got tired and went to bed.

This weekend is the Race for the Cure and we’ve got tons of people going.  My work started a team, The Balled and the Beautiful, a delightful play on words because yes, we dohave one man working with 4 lovely women, and both he and I are, in fact, rather bald.    Perhaps slightly in poor taste, lol, with most people just thinking we cannot spell.  Anyhoo, should be fun and more importantly, we’ve raised a lot of money and awareness for our cause.  Thanks team!!!

Me?  I’m doing great.  I don’t know how long it takes to get the rotten effects of chemo out of my system, but I keep telling my body that I feel great and I think it believes me most of the time.   My biopsy on my thyroids was not cancerous, whew, and while the nodules are ginormous and they don’t know what to make of them, they are.  not.. cancer…  which is good by me.  I will see a specialist soon.  Because I googled my large, dark spot on my leg, I was convinced I had melanoma, but that biopsy turned out fine too.  I go next week to have a spot on my eye biopsied at their recommendation and see my surgeon to discuss the final plans for the surgeries at the end of the month.  

Thanksgiving is at my aunt's house in Bastrop again this year because a.  she loves it, and b.  I’m lazy, and c.  we LOVE going there!  We’ll come back that Friday, get a Christmas tree and decorate the house like crazy for Christmas.  The boys need it for normalcy and also we didn’t do it last year because we moved over Christmas.  So I plan on over-the-top Christmas decoration weekend then surgery on Monday.  Mama says she will stay and take care of me, goody, so I should plan my menu accordingly.  Mom?  I think I want/need beef stroganoff and corned beef and cabbage.  So surgery the 26^th, I take off December from work and have Christmas, go back to work in January and start the 6 weeks of radiation.  That’s the plan.  

I love you all and all the support.  My cousin send me the most wonderful card with a great picture of mom and me when I took her to the Virgin Islands decades ago, where we were still young and pretty, and then she also sent me the most beautiful picture of her mother.  I write this with tears in my eyes because that woman is gone now and I will never get the chance to tell her how much her support and phone calls and numerous letters  meant to me.   She had sent me a package filled with thank you cards she had collected over the years from her own battle with breast cancer.  She told me that people like to get them better than just an email.  I’ve almost used them all up.  And you know what?  She was right.  I miss that I will never get the chance to know her better, but watch out Audra!  You are on my radar now and WE WILL NOT LOSE TOUCH AGAIN!  

I cherish my family and friends so much.  Everything you all do, no matter how small, I appreciate.  I may not make a big deal of it, but going with me to chemo, writing my blogs, all the cards, emails, facebook comments, little gifts, my pretty little butterfly, the hats, scarves, crosses, all the post-chemo dinners and even just your thoughts and prayers.  They all helped me through this.  We still have a ways to go, but I am ready for what comes next.  

Oh!  And I’m so excited that I get to do my Black Belt boot camp and test before surgery!  I have no idea what my restrictions will be after boobs are gone, so I am going to rock star my test!  At least in my own mind….